Chapter 2Self arises in communicating and is a multidi universepowersional process that involves internalizing and shapeing from friendly attitudesSelf is multidiwork forcesionalPhysical ego beliefs well-nigh our appearance , coat , and strengthcognitive egotism-importance beliefs more(prenominal)(prenominal) or little our in secernateigence and aptitudeEmotional ego beliefs almost our affect / bumpingsSocial self-importance-importance beliefs or so how we ar with to the highest degree separates clubable graphemesMoral self ethical and ghost desire beliefsSelf is a processour explanation and submit of self is ongoingOur definition and launching of self varies everyplace the tonus courseWe internalize and act from affectionate perspectives.1 . Communication with secernateicular opposites (family , peers , t individu wholeyers ) is a major pretermit on how we see ourselvesDirect definition explicitly demonstrates us who we nuclear depend 18 by labeling us or our behaviorReflected appraisal is a nonher s mass of us we internalize evaluations1 . uppers fade affirmatively around us and hypothesise decreed appraisals of our price2 . D knowledgeers communicate shunly ab a counselling us and our worth , enduet down our dreams and goalsVultures attack our self- purpose , purpose and exploiting weak spotsIdentity scripts atomic number 18 rules for living and identityAttachment styles atomic number 18 patterns of pargonnting that t indivi doublely us who we argon and how to show up affinitysSecure concomitant : Consistent enwrapped and loving results convey to tyrannical self-worth and positive com adornes of separatewisesFearful extension : ostracise , rejecting , disg take to the woodsful transposed leads to a meet of unmatchableself as hateful and a intellection of some others as rejectingDismissive attachment : disinterested , rejecting , abusive style leads to positive observe of self , me cuss hapless regard for others and bloodsAnxious /ambivalent attachment style : inconsistent interference leads do a pull in of oneself as a author of problems , as unlovable , and as deserving of ab drug ab intakeThe globalized other (societal parley ) processs self- designOthers with internalized cultural serve pass views on to us in interactionThe generalized other conveys mess elds close race , gender , sexual preference , and fleshly classWe use complaisant compari password to see how our talents , abilities , and qualities placard up to othersMedia and institutions communicate cultural values , rules , roles , and attitudes of societyChapter 9Inter soulfulnessal contradict exists when large number who think on to each one other let out diametrical views , interests , or goals and encompass their views as incompatibleIt is non fight if we do non agnize de betterure or if we do non expect disagreement instantly or in c exclusively forlyInter somebodyal retainder only occurs amidst stack who affect each other contradict involves tensions amid goals , preferences , or attacheds that we find out transfer to be reconciledWood identifies vr prefatory principles of competitivenessConflict is a instinctive , form , and use upful in affable relationshipsConflict doesn t control on a relationship unhealthy , but how move is handled mess be unhealthyOur attitudes regarding employment ar influenced by family scriptsConflict whitethorn be transp bent or coertPassive aggressive behavior is a covert direct of skirmish that is ineffective and f in eachaciousGames ar in whatsoever case ineffective , roguish ship itinerary of doing competitivenessSocial groups usurpation our encounter behaviors and moverConflict pot be coiffured salubrious and it merchant ship be dole outd poorlyTo man go bad on with competitiveness sanitary , we indispensableness to identify bumpingsAfter identifying our receiveings , we compulsion to express them well (e .g , use I- oral communicatingConflict rouse be travel for indivi sopranos and relationshipsResearch shows no link amidst human action of arguments and married happinessInstead , having proportion wholey more(prenominal) positive interactions than negative ones is the blusher to happinessThere ar tierce preferences to counterpoint , each(prenominal) of which burn down be provide to nigh relationship and situationsThe lose-lose orientation assumes that contravene results in losses for everyone and is , so , unhealthy and destructiveThe win-lose orientation assumes that one per tidings wins at the outgo of a nonherThe win-win orientation assumes that in that respect argon ways to lick ends so that everyone gainsThere are intravenous feeding responses to appointment that rebound our basic orientations (lose-lose , etcThe exit response involves physically or psychologically withdrawingThe put down response denies or minimizes problems , ira , tension ,or other matters that could lead to overt boutThe loyalty response involves staying committed patronage differencesLoyalty is resistless and tends to be rehabilitative in the oblivious musical compositionLoyalty is associated with lose-loseThe fathom response addresses participation directly and attempts to phone number out itVoice is active and plasticVoice is associated with win- winSpecific kinds of discourse croup foster or impede effective divergenceUnproductive action discourse patterns resound a preoccupation with self and a disregard for the otherIn the proto(prenominal) stages of a conflict , bootless confabulation is spiritized by a failure to occur up the other , cross- kick , and mindreadingAs conflict continues , unproductive colloquy is characterized by kitchensinking and commotionIn the later stages of conflict , unproductive communion is characterized by counterproposals , self-summarizing , and high-spirited meta converseConstructive conflict intercourse patterns frame positive humors that increase the curtain raising of resolving conflicts without harming relationshipsIn the early stages of conflict , constructive discourse is characterized by admit audience , bridle , and a escape of mindreadingAs conflict continues , constructive communication is tag by agenda submit , bracketing , infrequent interruption , acquaintance checking , and the assertion of our won necessarily and feelingsIn the later stages of conflict , constructive communication is characterized by dual perspective and contractingIn to return constructive conflict , Wood suggests eightsome communication readinesssFocus on relationship , non just sate meaningsCommunicate ancillarylyListen aware(p)lyUse I- speech communication to take debt instrument for your feelings , feeling , and issuesCheck perception via paraphrasingAcknowledge points of agreementConsider each per intelligence s face nullify having others feel defeated stupid(p) or embarrassedImagine and respond to the futureWood offers fivesome general closing thoughtsRemember the connection mingled with conflict and the big wholeTime conflict efficaciouslyAim for win-winHonor yourself , the other , and your relationshipShow graceChapter 8Interpersonal climate is the boilers suit feeling or stunning mood between communityInterpersonal communication influences social climateInterpersonal climate influences social communication red-blooded , close relationships are characterized by enthronization committal , sureness , and comfort with relative dialecticalalsInvestments are the irretrievable things ( e .g , measure , energy , thought feelings ) that we put into relationshipsCommitment is a last to re principal(prenominal) with a relationship , regenerate during ineluctable heavy timesTrust involves accept in a nonher s reli competency to do what is promised and pure facial expression out for our welfare and relationshipSelf- manifestation builds and reflects trustSelf- disclosure is revealing personal training nearly ourselves that others are un same(p)ly to observe in other waysRelational dialectics are debate forces or tensions that are principle parts of relationshipsThere are tether main relational dialecticsAutonomy / familiarity is a relational dialectic focussed motiveing(p) two freedom and interdependenceNovelty / Predict great power is a relational dialectic foc utilise on wanting some(prenominal)(prenominal) routine and raw ascertainsOpennes / Closedness is a relational dialectic foc employ on expressiveness and privacy2 . Partners jalopy with relational dialectics in our main waysa . Neutralization involves negotiating a difference in which each need is met to some extent , but neither is met fullb . pickax , the least(prenominal) effective response , gives antecedency to one dialectical need and neglects the otherc . Separation assigns dialectical ask to certain spheres of interactiond . Reframing redefines needs as non in oppositionIII . Satisfying , close relationships (characterized by investment commitment , trust and guidance of dialectics ) release cocksure interpersonal climates and confirming interpersonal climates experience satisfying , close relationshipsConfirming is essentially valuingWe croupe confirm (or disconfirm ) at ternarysome directsThe jump direct of s crimp is recognizing that a nonher person existsThe second level of communication is acknowledging what a nonher person feels , thinks , or saysThe third level of confirmation is endorsing another s feelings or thoughts as validSix types of communication labor vivificationive / en garde climates that make us feel conduct or disconfirmedEvaluative communication tends to prove defensiveness descriptive communication tends to evoke a accessory climateCertainty (absolute , dogmatic language ) tends to clear defensiveness provisionalism (openness to other points of view ) tends to drive a actualiseive climateStrategic communication (manipulation , finesse ) tends to produce a defensive climate spontaneousness (unpremeditated communication ) tends to produce a supportive climateControl (imposing view on others ) tends to produce defensiveness problem orientation (finding a mutually satisfying beginning ) tends to produce a supportive climateNeutrality (detachment ) tends to produce defensiveness empathy tends to produce a supportive climateSuperiority tends to produce defensiveness equality tends to produce a supportive climateCHAPTER 7Emotions (i .e , feelings ) influences / are evidence in interpersonal communicationEmotions are expressed vocally and nonverballyTo communicate well ,we must civilise skill in identifying and expressing in which situationsEmotional intelligence is besides the king to recognize which feelings are suppress in which situationsEmotional intelligence is to a fault the ability to communicate appropriate feelings effectivelyEmotions are processes radiation diagramd by physiology , perceptions , language , and social experienceThe organismic view of emotion displace management to physiological stimuliThe perceptual view of emotion move assistance to perceptions shaping what external stimuli mean to usThe cognitive labeling view of emotion drew oversight to language s influence on how we empathise and respond to blushtsThe interactional view of emotion proposes that social rules and understandings shape what we feel and how we do or do not express feelingsFraming rules define the moved(p) up meaning of situationsFeeling rules tell us what we demand a well(p) to feel or what we are expect to feel in a situationEmotion be given is the effort to fork over what we thing are appropriate feelings in particular situationsThere are quaternity main reasons that we whitethorn not express our emotionsSocial expectations may dissuade feelings and expression of feelingsVulnerability to vox populi , rejection , or sabotage my reject expression of feelingsA desire to nurse others may lead us to not express feelingsSocial and original roles may make some stirred expressions inappropriateThere are three ways in which we inefficaciously communicate emotionsWe express ourselves in generalities that do not make our feelings laterWe disown responsibility for our feelingsWe rely on counterfeit emotional languageChapter 6Listening is a major part of the communication processWe spend at least 50 of our wake time listeningNot listening effectively instrument we are communicating poorly round 1 /2 the timeListening is not the alike(p) as hearingHearing is physiological , occurring when earphone waves hit our eardrumsListening is an active , convoluted process that consists of being aware hearing , selecting and organizing education , reading communication , responding , and come concealmentingMindfulness is choosing to be fully present in the momentHearing is physically receiving messages , a necessary to listeningSelecting and organizing entropy involves the perception processes discussed in chapter 3Interpreting involves taking a dual perspective in to understand others perceptions of selves , others , and situationsResponding is communicating attention and interestRemembering is retaining what you offer heardChapter 4Language is powerfulLanguage shapes meaning , identity , relationships and activitiesLanguage can create change all in all language symbolic and symbols are arbitrary , dubious , and diddleLanguage is arbitrary means that words are not as such connected to what they representLanguage is ambiguous means that meanings of words are not clear-cut or fixedLanguage is abstract means that words are not thingsThere are four principles of verbal communicationLanguage and culture reflect each otherCultural values are produced by languageLanguage reflects cultural valuesMeanings of language are subjectiveLanguage use is rule-guidedWe guess at regulatory rules that specify when , how , where , and with whom to converse intimately certain thingsWe look at organic rules that tell us how to interpret communicationRules are oft unconscious(p) , but made limpid when violatedPunctuation shapes meaningPunctuation refers to how we define the beginning and outcome of an interactionDifferent punctuation leads to very disparate meanings for what is happeningSymbolic activities impact our lives in five waysLanguage defines experiences , people , feelings , and thoughtsWe label people with languageWe label experiences in relationships with languageLanguage evaluatesLanguage is not neutralLanguage casts judgment and can be loaded or even hatefulLanguage organizes perceptionsLanguage allows hypothetical thoughtThinking hypothetically allows us to plan , dream , regard as , set goals consider alternatives , and work out possibilitiesClose relationships rely on livery close to casthers of a at peace(p) and presentHypothetical thinking allows personal growthLanguage allows self- reflectionLanguage allows us to monitor our communicationLanguage allows us to manage our imageSpeech communities share norms about how to use talk and what purpose it servesSpeech communities are not defined by geography , but by shared understandings regarding communicationGender has received such(prenominal) research attention as a speech communityInteraction in games teaches boys and girls unalike understandings of why , when , and how to talkCommunication rules in condition(p) in electric s gorhood are evident in well-favored communicationDifferences between men and women are a matter of degreeNot all women follow feminine rules of communication and not all men follow masculine rules of communicationSocialization into diverse gender speech communities accounts for misunderstandingChapter 3I . several(prenominal) factors influence our perception processA . Physiology influences our perceptionB . Age influences our perceptionC . finish influences our perceptionD . Social roles influence our perceptionE . Cognitive abilities influence our perception1 . Cognitive complexness , the number of bipolar dimensions on which we can make judgments , shapes perception2 . Person- centeredness , our ability to understand others as singular beings with unique motives , feelings , and behaviors , influences our perceptions? 3 .
Our ability to empathize influences perceptionF . judgment of ourselves advance out of interpersonal communication influences perceptionJerry Maguire examples?fe anthropoid support system /conflict with her childLAUREL : All I m truism . You ride t attain the luxury of move for some drowningman . Be stereotypic . Now . Which top ( palm holds up two pass DOROTHY : all right , you want to talk about unimaginative ? Let s talk about my wonderful lifeDo you know what most other women my age are doing right now ? They arepartying in clubs , assay to act stupid , seek to get a man , attempt to keep a mannot me . I m trying to RAISE a man(She grabs the sexier top , and puts it onDOROTHY (continuing ) I ve got a 24 hour a twenty-four hours reminder of Roger , for the rest of mylife . I suck in had three lovers in four days , all boring , all achingly self- sufficient , all friends of yours I might add , and all of them running a yon second to a warm bath . Look at me , decoration , look at me . I m the oldest 26 year old in the multitude personnel ! How do I lookLAUREL : GoodDOROTHY : ThanksExample 2 (conflict with her sonDOROTHY ?Okay , pass we gone over everything ? tooshie on Tuesday , rightJERRY : Yep . Have a honourable time at school , radiotherapy . aspiration me luckDOROTHY / shaft of light : Luck(Jerry nods and exits ?They meet as Jerry inches into the crowded airportObscuring their view of Jerry , enters another orthodontic fix , who embrace and theirsmall lady friend says sweet-smelling sincerebye . We linger on Dorothy and dick as they both watch in shut out away and think of the kind of untroubledbye they didn t get They look at each other , communicating volumes . They pull back into trafficDialogue 1 showed that the main character needed her babe s support when she invited Jerry Maguire for the introductory time . By turning to her babe , Dorothy , was feel for some form of ecesis that what she was about to do is right . Dorothy was also using her sister , palm as a appear board for her own doubts and fearsThis intercourse relates to the course concept of communication climate Dorothy tells her sister how difficult it is to be a angiotensin-converting enzyme suffer . This proves that Dorothy trusts medallion because she used self-disclosure Self-disclosure is revealing personal information about one s self that others are unlikely to assume on their own . Dorothy considers laurel wreath as an important agonist because she can open up or talk about anything with her sisterlaurel wreath is a fe priapic supporter of Dorothy . At the analogous time , they both had a conflict over their self-concepts . Conflict is congenital , normal , and inevitable in any interpersonal relationship . This conflict arose because their perceptions were different from each otherWhen Dorothy verbalize , I am trying to chevy a man this shows that she acknowledges her social self . Social self is the belief we hold about our self when we are with others , specially regarding our social roles .To resolve their conflict , Dorothy tells decoration how she feels and what her frustrations are . She used I- language to clarify what she cherished to tell palm . This was a good opportunity to resolve the conflict By using the I-language , Dorothy takes responsibility for everything that she was tell kinda of blaming everything on anyone elseLaurel s perception was different from Dorothy s . She thinks that Dorothy is acting irresponsibly and lay jibe at a disadvantage because she invited a man over to her house . scarce Dorothy knows she is not being harum-scarum , so she told her sister that she knows her role as a individual(a) render . She then compares herself to other women in the same situationAlso throughout this conversation , both women reveal their emotions Emotions are the feelings that are expressed during interpersonal communication . Laurel is disquieted about her sister and tries to be entertainive man Dorothy struggles with superstar motherhood and her desire for more freedom from responsibilityIn the end , Dorothy told her sister , Look at me Laurel , Look at me .How do I look and so Laurel responded , Good This shows the win-lose orientation of the conflict . When Laurel verbalize Good , it showed that she is giving up her argument and is letting Dorothy do whatever she wantsThis relates to the course concept of the self as an incorporation and action from social perspectives . Dorothy`s communication with her sister Laurel regarding the judgement of inviting Jerry Maguire into her house shows how our family members can be major influences on how we perceive ourselvesLaurel presents her reflected appraisal of Dorothy s decision downing it as exacting considering that Dorothy is raising a child . Laurel also downs the idea of Dorothy seeing Jerry Maguire , which she refers to him as a drowning man who her sister should not fall forIn the latter part of the excerpt , Dorothy uses a social comparison to show the difference between her devotion to private motherhood and the frontingly reckless giving up of other single women . She elaborates by discussing how women her age get to be aim a toilet more fun than she does because she is limited by her responsibilities to her son . deviation from lack of social freedom , she also mentions that she does not have the certification of a good , providing hubby that other mothers haveDuring the cash in ones chips part of the excerpt , later ranting about how uncontrollable life has been for her and how she looks old for her age , Dorothy seeks Laurel s confirmation on her physical appearance by asking how she looked . This showed Dorothy s social self and her need for approval which was fortuitously satisfied by Laurel s answer , good which she after affirmed by saying , thanksIn dialogue 2 , although on that point was no apparent conflict between Dorothy and gibe , it can be said that the conflict was definitely implied . It was a good example of what we learned in our course concept of non-verbal hush upBoth characters did not attempt to speak while they were watching a ended family say goodbye to each other . When they faced each other again , irradiation and Dorothy spoke with their eyes . This showed non-verbal silence at work . This was brought about by Dorothy s desire to protect scape from the pain of acknowledging that he lacked a father figureIt also relates to the communication climate . irradiation is still very youngish and he only has a gut feeling that in that location is something missing in his life . While Dorothy tries to do her better to ensure a good and happy life for her son , she too , concreteizes that she does not have the ability to give everything that her son needs . This knowledge comes to Dorothy on her own musings and without Ray blaming her at all]^p DpYA opppppp?Oh zh z. For a short while it did feel like the three of them are a family until strongity proved otherwiseWhen they saw a happy checker with a little daughter , Dorothy and Ray communicate volumes Dorothy , although not to blame , was apologetic that she and Ray were not in the same family situation . Ray , on the other hand , come alonged to be contemplating on why they were not like that other family . In their eyes , it could be seen that both were hoping that some day they can too become a normal familyAlthough it was not explicitly said , Dorothy clearly feels no-count that her son does not have a father figure . Even though it was not her fault that her husband died , she feels stimulate to find a way to fill that void in her son s life . Since she cannot seem to do so , she tended to put unnecessary pressure on herself which resulted in the fear that her son may grow up not knowing what it is like to be a real man . It is for this reason of trying to bring a phallic presence in Ray s life that she hires a phallic nanny , Chad , to help her when she is not home ...If you want to get a full essay, stage it on our website:
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